Finally, they moved me into a pick-up truck, then the back of a tail-dragger Cessna with a couple of nurses on it and flew to Nairobi.
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So the mysterious Mr Rajoy must seek to avert twin tail-risks: the break-up of the euro zone on the rocks of Spain, and the break-up of Spain itself.
Bell and Panesar combined to run out Yuvraj for 45 off 39 balls when Zaheer sent him back and Panesar then bowled the tail-ender comprehensively before Anderson cleaned up Patel to put the seal on a highly impressive victory.
That included a seventh-wicket stand of 82 between Francois du Plessis (54) and home captain Glen Chapple (39) before Martin-Jenkins wrapped up the tail.
After finally breaking this partnership, England were able to clean up the tail relatively quickly - with Chris Tremlett claiming five wickets in the innings - but they still faced a daunting 391 for victory.
Anil Kumble cleaned up the tail to return 4-47 as the hosts were dismissed for 245 soon after lunch.
However, Phillips and Charl Willoughby (3-81) mopped up the tail with the second new ball as Durham lost their last three wickets for nine runs.
Adshead and Lewis led a fight back of sorts, but Thomas and Mark Turner (3-27) wrapped up the tail to see the home side bowled out in just 28.2 overs.
West Indies managed to add only 14 runs to their first day score of 271-6 at the start of play as Vaas (3-35) and Lasith Malinga (4-71) mopped up the tail.
Harmison (4-43) then cleaned up the tail as Hampshire were dismissed for 105, Nic Pothas top scoring with 35.
Mark Boucher also played well for 70 but Harbhajan Singh finally cleaned up the tail for figures of 5-164.
The home side's captain Dimitri Mascarenhas picked up 6-67 as he earned his best figures for two years by mopping up the tail.
One of the biggest tail risks, Garthwaite says, is a eurozone break-up, something investors have been worrying about as the debt crisis shows no sign of abating or being fixed quickly.
But she crossed the tail end of Hurricane Lenny, a storm that whipped up 6m (20-foot) waves and winds of 20 knots.
Off-spinner Harbhajan Singh had Muttiah Muralitharan caught behind for 14 as India wrapped up the tail in fewer than eight overs.
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"What they grew up with on their pajamas and their macaroni and wallpaper and everything else is the tail-dragging posture, " he said.
On propeller driven aircraft, balloon-like devices attached to the wings and tail are inflated and deflated with air from the engines, breaking up any ice accumulation.
Indeed, Formula One is increasingly made up of a trio of leading teams, a handful of middle-rankers, and a long tail of slower cars which somehow cling on, helped by the largesse from Mr Ecclestone.
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