其实他不用说了，我能明白。他心中的算计，现在我也能从心里感受到了：如果不回来，他挽救的只有他自己。

He doesn't have to speak, I just know, his math emanating from inside me now: Not coming back, he would only have saved himself.

youdao

就算他不回答我，我也依然爱着他。

And even if he does not answer me, I still love him.

youdao

但是好奇心再次占了上风，好几次，我约了网友出来见面，但又灰溜溜地逃走，之后任凭他们带着疑惑发多少封邮件我也不回复。

But my curiosity overtook me again. Several times, I arranged to meet up with guys online, but I would lose my nerve and flee, never returning their confused emails.

youdao