"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem."
“欢迎来到天堂，”圣彼得说，“在你迁入进来前，似乎还有一个问题。”
So St. Peter let her into heaven.
于是彼得让他留在了天堂。
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
他的灵魂到了天堂，在进入口遇见了圣彼得。
Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.
另外女子自成一队，跟着圣彼德去。
We need not suppose that St. Peter foresaw the effect of his example.
我们不需要假设圣彼得预见的影响，他的榜样。
A man arrives in heaven and is being shown around by St. Peter.
一个人到了天堂，由圣彼得带着他参观。
" St. Peter replies, "These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell.
圣彼得回答道，“这些是测谎用的钟，你说一次谎他们就滴答一下。
St. Peter praised him and gave him a luxury car.
圣彼得表扬了他，并赠送他一辆豪华轿车。
Inside St Peter and St Paul, the organ in the background is world famous.
内部的圣彼得和圣保罗，背景的器官是世界出名的。
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem."
“欢迎来到天堂，”彼得说：“在把你安顿下来之前，我有一个问题。”
I want all the women to report to St Peter.
我要所有的女人都向圣彼得报到去。
I think I prefer Hell, "he told St. Peter."
“我想我更喜欢地狱，”他告诉圣保罗。
圣彼得让他进入了天堂。
Peter, "If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St.
妻子又问：“如果生活的不愉快，我们可不可以离婚呢？”
The first guy walked up and St. Peter asked him, "How long were you married?"
第一个人走上前，圣皮特问他：你结婚多长时间了。
St. Peter replied, "Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer."
圣彼得回答说：“你看，我们这里到处都是教皇，可律师却只有他一个。”
"Can you tell me which my husband's clock is?" Hillar, asked St. Peter.
于是希拉里问圣彼得，“你能告诉我哪只种代表我丈夫吗？”
St. Peter then asks, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
圣彼得然后问，“你欺骗过你妻子没有？”
St. Peter then asks, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
圣彼得然后问，“你欺骗过你妻子没有？”
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