My landlord is my boyfriend. FML
好吧我承认，我的房东就是我男朋友。
I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML.
我还是个14岁的女生。
I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML.
好吧，我被一只死去的猪尿湿了。
She now has two new toys today. FML
她今天已经这样获得了两个新玩偶了。
The owner answered my phone call. FML.
后来我才知道，那餐馆老板接了我很多电话。
Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML
而现在，我一个人孤苦伶仃，没有女友也没有朋友。
Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML.
今天，我独处时的表情把一个女孩吓哭了。
Even Febreeze can't get rid of the smell. FML.
好了，现在我用完了整瓶的空气清新剂，也没能去除我车里死猫的味道。
Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML.
我的钱包还在那件衣服里！
Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?". FML
今天，我正在努力的时候，女朋友问我：“你进去了么？”
Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML.
很显然，我给所有人都发了，连同我老板在内。
Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML.
结果，她的朋友正是那个看报纸的男人。
Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML.
今天我称体重，秤被我称坏了。
Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML
在这个时候我才发现我的照相机电池用完了。
My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML
过了一会儿我去厨房给他准备点心，只听得一声巨响……我外甥像海绵宝宝那样把我的新吉他砸得粉碎。
Conclusion FML has an obvious antibacterial effect in vitro.
结论鲜桑叶有明显的体外抑菌作用。
I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML.
现在好了，我的手机和我的右手都废了。
I am now back in the hospital because my horse ran over me. FML.
现在，我因被马踩伤，又躺在了医院里。
Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML.
可是今天，她说了“我知道怎么让你温暖”之后便朝我放了一个屁。
Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML.
原来，我们的车子再一次被盗了，而且这次的盗贼还放了把火。
I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML.
我是唯一一个在公司外参加会议的人。
FML Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house.
FML本日，我家的猫告成地将我和我老爸锁在门外。
FML Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house.
FML本日，我家的猫告成地将我和我老爸锁在门外。
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