Unfortunately, my idea failed and my grain offloading production started lagging.

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But Tim and I share a certain skepticism in common, so maybe take my naysaying with a grain or two of sea salt.

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"I hope with every grain of my soul, that I'll be able to come back and be a better rugby player than I was, and I think I will be, " he told BBC 5 Live.

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He quickly dismisses official business to take us on a personalised metal tour, which includes his sedan dashboard thickly scrawled with the autographs of visiting metal bands, the site of a planned Alley of Rock statue park, and a grain elevator refashioned as a medieval castle ('My idea, ' he cheerfully claims).

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In my experience, though, pronouncements like these need to be taken with a huge grain of salt.

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