然而不幸的是，现在我开始体会到，你爷爷离开自己的孩子们一年之久，该是多么痛苦的事情。
But now unfortunately I have come to realise just how rough it must have been for Grandpa to be away from his children for a year.
这时他对自己说这是我的同胞们干的，他们是在受派别骚扰，为各种不幸和贫困感到痛苦，并且烦躁不安时，来到这里避难的。
When he says to himself, this is the work of my countrymen, who, when convulsed by factions, afflicted by a variety of miseries and wants, restless and impatient, took refuge here.
我忘记了自己是谁，而且尝试找回自己是一件非常痛苦的事，所以我放弃了任何努力。
I forgot who I was, and trying to retrace the person I was before was too painful, so I just shut those boxes.
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