我知道是我自己导致了这一切，我也知道所有人中我是那个需要改变的人。

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change.

youdao

然后当我彻底沮丧且完全没有动力的时候，生活中所有的一切是似乎都需要平静下来，我只想知道我改如何再一次让自己振作起来。

Then when I thoroughly demoralized, and lying around unmotivated, everything else in my life seems to calm down, and I’m just left wondering how to pick myself up again.

youdao

我会设法让他(勃烈日涅夫)知道，如果让我发现他明明了解所有情况但是还是让这一切发生的话，那我就清楚的知道我该干什么了。

I'll get through to him [Brezhnev] somehow, and if I ever find out he knew about the situation and still let everything happen, then I know exactly what I'm going to do.

youdao