其实，毕业那天我没有恨我自己，可我确实把当初的话在脑子里回放了一遍又一遍。

I didn't really hate myself on graduation day, but I did replay that proclamation over and over again in my head.

youdao

好几天时间我都处于极度悲恸之中，我害怕我再也不能怀小孩了，我恨我自己为什么不试着早点把孩子生下来。

I was scared I'd never have another child. I hated myself for not trying to have children sooner.

youdao

那段时间里，我非常想念我的孩子和母亲，而恨我的丈夫把我一个人孤零零留在这儿。

I missed very much my baby and my mother and got angry to my husband for left me behind here alone.

youdao