对人不对事：如果你的目标是这个人(“你是个恶心的作者”)，而不是他们的行为，你会惹恼他们，使他们心存戒备，或是感觉受到伤害。
It focuses on the person. If you focus on the person (" you're a lousy writer ") instead of their actions, you will make them angry or defensive or hurt.
如果这不是你所需要的帮助，大声说出来，不用有所戒备。
If this is not the help you need - voice it out, without getting defensive.
就是能够，从一个个人的角度聊问题，而如果你很紧张就很难做到这一点，很有戒备心的时候就很难，所以我能够，有Saed是非？
Just being able to keep saying from a person's perspective which is very hard to see when you get very tense and very defensive.
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