As Forbes contributor Jim Gorzelany explained recently, EPA mileage ratings are an elegant fiction.

FORBES: C-Max: Ford Makes A Great Car -- And Gets Slammed Anyway

Responding to the share plunge, in a conference call at 11 a.m. central, McMoran Chairman Jim Bob Moffett explained that although the bottom of the Davy Jones well was currently plugged and stubbornly resisting attempts to get it flowing, he was confident that investors would soon get some good news.

FORBES: Updated 11:30 Central.

Jim Long, a spokesman for the Fire Department, explained that the procedure is "pretty much cookie-cutter" at this point.

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