He challenged his wife's uncle to a wrestling match and explained to a room full of dinner guests that he had converted, he had become a hillbilly Jew.
My wife's Syrian uncle had a large, destructive dog called Hulagu, which died recently of an intestinal disorder after trying to eat more of the household furniture than he could safely chew.
This was doubly humiliating, not just for me but also for my parents, because Uncle Simon's wife, Marie, had pulled strings to get me into prestigious Congregation Shearith Israel, the majestic Spanish and Portuguese synagogue at 70th Street and Central Park West.