But this protean diploma is unlikely to meet it, according to Alan Smithers and Pamela Robinson of Buckingham University, the report's authors.

ECONOMIST: Qualifications

The Sunday Express takes it a step further, insisting that Mark Viduka, Alan Smith, Harry Kewell and Paul Robinson are all on the verge of quitting.

BBC: SPORT | The back pages

He has stood firm and resisted the temptation to raise the money at a stroke by selling off the family silver in the form of Alan Smith, Mark Viduka and Paul Robinson.

BBC: SPORT | Football | My Club | Leeds United | Leeds' final countdown