An alternative ending to this wishful-thinking, Edgar Allan Poe-esque scenario has Jimbo leaving the planet entirely, overcoming his xenophobia to allow himself to be rescued by space aliens.
Not only does it provide a rapid canter through an emerging policy alternative that may soon be the mainstream thinking among Tory backbenchers, but it also maps out the dangerous ideological crosscurrents in which policies, and indeed governments, can easily flounder.