Just embrace the absolutely over-the-top absurd nature of the story.

我爱故事蕴含的荒诞色彩。

youdao

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. -- Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think, without feeling that she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

她越想越惭愧得无地自容。不论想到达西也好，想到韦翰也好，她总是觉得自己以往未免太盲目，太偏心，对人存了偏见，而且不近情理。

youdao

Mr. ZBIGNIEW BRZEZINSKI (Former National Security Advisor): I think it's an absolutely absurd formulation.

NPR: The War on Terror, Five Years Later

Daniel Becnel, a Louisiana lawyer who is suing BP, said the new findings were "absolutely absurd".

BBC: Oil spill: BP 'did not sacrifice safety to save money'

Home Office Minister Paul Boateng dismissed the suggestion that Lord Irvine had abused his role as "absolutely absurd".

BBC: Lord Irvine