切忌过度理性，对负面情绪视而不见，认为处理冲突是对人不对事；
Avoid by all means is too rational to negative emotions, turn a blind eye, think dealing with conflict is wrong;
对人不对事：如果你的目标是这个人(“你是个恶心的作者”)，而不是他们的行为，你会惹恼他们，使他们心存戒备，或是感觉受到伤害。
It focuses on the person. If you focus on the person (" you're a lousy writer ") instead of their actions, you will make them angry or defensive or hurt.
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