现在，你会为我的小便…娱乐！

And now, you shall urinate... for my amusement!

youdao

但是当你的狗儿咬坏你喜爱的沙发，或在你的新地毯上小便的时候，你会明白我是第一个这样对你说的人。

But I will be the first person to say "I TOLD you so" when your dog chews up your favorite couch or pees on your brand new carpet while you run down the the corner grocery for a gallon of milk.

youdao

我需要在这里稍作解释下，我一直是个抑郁悲观的人，我认为人生就好像在漆黑的冬夜在雪地里小便，你或许能做些许变化，但真的很难预言。

I had always been kind of a morose and pessimistic guy. I feel that life is like peeing into the snow in a dark winter night. You probably made a difference, but it's really hard to tell.

youdao