I didn't get the extra credit. FML.
很显然，我没有获得这次的附加分。
I didn't know she was married. FML.
奶奶的，我还真不知道她已经结婚了。
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML.
今天，我爸决定用我的毕业证来试试笔有没水。
He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML.
他说：“我才不会想你呢，你不在的时候我从来都不想你。”
Today, I got a rejection letter from a college I didn't apply to. FML.
今天我收到一封拒绝通知。那大学我从来就没申请过啊喂。FML。
She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML.
她看了看我，笑了笑，把袜子塞回我嘴里，然后走掉了。
My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML.
原来他们在比谁的信更令我感动。
As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML.
从而，我尿湿了被单，丢掉了工作。
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML.
今天，我男朋友跟我分手了，通过短信，当我们在同一个屋檐下的时候。
It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML.
现在，我花两倍的价钱去看牙科急诊。
I then had to tell my mom, his wife of 30 years, that my dad was having an affair. FML.
他老婆都30岁了，我要告诉我老妈，老爸有外遇了。
At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those Numbers." FML.
顿了一下他说，“真抱歉，我没想到真的会有人打那些电话号码。”
After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML.
结果，我的老板是红绿色盲。
Just after she left, I realized my wallet that I had on the table beside us was gone. FML.
她走后我才发现，我放在我们身后桌子上的钱包不见了。
When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML.
我暗示她果脆圈盒子哪里去了，她说她发现那些东西过期了，就连盒子一起扔掉了。
Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML.
现在办公室所有的人来我办公室的时候都是先通知我一下。
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML.
今天，第一次，我决定做我自己在工作中，然而我的老板却以为我醉了。
Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML.
今天，我看到了我男友25岁生日“趴替”的照片，他之前和我说那个“趴替”取消了。FML。
Today it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML.
今天是我的跟妻子的两周年结婚纪念日。她现在却正跟她的男朋友在庆祝这天。
My 10 year old son has been peeing on the radiator thinking it was fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML.
原来是我10岁的儿子在暖气上撒尿——他喜欢那腾腾的蒸汽和滋滋的响声。
Today, my boyfriend dumped me through a Facebook status, and both my mom and best friend "liked" it. FML.
今天，我的男朋友在脸谱网状态上把我给甩了，结果我妈和我闺蜜都觉得这很赞。
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML.
今天我发现，那盆我放在厨房里精心浇灌了2年的花，是假花。
Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML.
今天我听到我那两个已经离了婚的家长在为了谁来养我而吵架。他们谁都不想养我。FML。
She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent a Helium Tank!" FML.
可是事情是这样的，她在玩具店工作，我带着我5岁的女儿去买气球，然后我指着“出租氢气瓶”的牌子问出这句话。
I already owed 20 dollars and haven't been able to talk for more FML than five minutes without getting called out on it FML.
我得付二十美元，还没说上五分钟，还没有谈到。
Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML.
今天我见识到，有些人竟然认为在这种场合下剪手指甲是合适的——在饭店里的餐桌旁，跟第一次约会的人。
Today, after my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another guy, I got stuck in an elevator for 3 hours. With both of them. FML.
今天和我相处2年的女朋友脱离了我和另一个男人好了，然后我在电梯里面卡了3小时，和他们2个一起FML。
Today, after my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another guy, I got stuck in an elevator for 3 hours. With both of them. FML.
今天和我相处2年的女朋友脱离了我和另一个男人好了，然后我在电梯里面卡了3小时，和他们2个一起FML。
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