"It just makes things worse," said Apter.
“只是让事情更糟，”阿普特说。
"Offers to help are often perceived as criticism," Apter said.
“提供帮助往往被看作是批评，”阿普特说。
The author had anticipated the question in a preceding ch apter.
作者在前一章中就已经考虑到这一问题。
Dr Apter said one woman she spoke to began receiving messages from her mother-in-law-to-be two months before the wedding.
阿普特博士称，一位受访女性称，她在结婚前两个月就不断地收到婆婆的来信。
It's the disappointment felt by both women that "gives these relationships their distinctive negative charge," Apter says.
双方都感到失望，“给予这些关系独特的负面影响，”阿普特说。
Terri Apter, a psychologist at the University of Cambridge in England and the author of The Myth of Maturity, calls them "thresholders.
英国剑桥大学心理学家及《成长的秘密》的作者Terri Apter称他们为“thresholders”。
Although she's a psychologist specializing in family relations, Apter admits that she has fallen into some common in-law traps herself.
虽然她是一个专业是家庭关系的心理学家，阿普特承认，她已落入一些常见的亲家陷阱里。
As Apter explains, many situations can potentially arouse feelings of excitement or anxiety depending on how safe you believe yourself to be.
正如阿普特的论断，很多情况既可能使我们兴奋，也可能令我们恐惧，这完全取决于对自身安全的判定。
As Apter explains, many situations can potentially arouse feelings of excitement or anxiety depending on how safe you believe yourself to be.
正如阿普特的论断，很多情况既可能使我们兴奋，也可能令我们恐惧，这完全取决于对自身安全的判定。
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