但是自恋者的行为方式有各种各样的矛盾。
But there are all sorts of paradoxes in the way narcissists behave. Here are three that this research helps explain.
群体自恋者还笃信自己的偏执看法。
Collective narcissists also embrace their own bigoted attitudes.
为什么自恋者非常赖他人的赞赏，却要贬低他人？
Why do narcissists devalue others when they are so dependent on them for admiration?
我不是一名自恋者，但我是你所认识的最重要的人。
I am not a narcissist, but I am the most important person you know. When I'm talking to you.
这也许是因为自恋者有很强的自我价值感。
This may be because narcissists have a strong sense of self-worth.
按照群体自恋者的逻辑，对这种冒犯一定要报复。
According to collective narcissistic logic, such an offence needs to be avenged.
出乎大多数专家的意料，自恋者正处于变成濒危物种的过程中。
Narcissists, much to the surprise of many experts, are in the process of becoming an endangered species.
不要把自恋者想象的那么邪恶或者他们想要伤害你。
Don't assume narcissist people to be evil or someone who is there to hurt you.
因此，该项研究的特殊结果是：不要给予自恋者关注来鼓励他们。
So the practical upshot of this study is: don't encourage the narcissists by paying them any attention.
群体自恋者还渴望报复所有未对其群体予以足够认可的人。
Collective narcissists also desire revenge on anyone who doesn't sufficiently recognise their group.
目前，看起来非常明确的是，要自恋者们放弃这一席之地还为时过早。
Right now, this much seems clear: It is way too early for the narcissists to give up their seat on the bus.
为什么自恋者不注意到这一循环——一开始的有吸引力然后紧随着排斥？
Why don't narcissists spot the cycle of early attraction followed by rejection?
有观察自恋者倾向于把自己和别人的合照以及各参加种宴会的照片贴出来。
One observation was that narcissists tend to post many pictures of themselves with others and at parties.
自恋者也常常是控制者，机器，具有攻击性，不忠和玩心理游戏。
Narcissists are also known to be controllers, manipulators, aggressive, unfaithful, and given to playing mind-games.
然而，如果自恋者太多，那么屋子里过多的自我中心将一事无成。
If there are too many of them, however, there may be too many egos in the room, preventing anything from getting done.
我们眼中的自恋者的日常写照是十分自我专注的——谈话内容总是关于他们。
Our everyday picture of a narcissist is that of someone who is very self-involved - the conversation is always about them.
要责怪那些掠夺性强的人，自恋者，反社会的人等很容易，这是美国的方式。
It would be easy to blame predatory people. Narcissists. Sociopaths. More and more, that's the American way.
最后的是，自恋者渴望得到别人的认同与仰慕，但对别人的观点通常毫无头绪。
Finally, the narcissist, who longs for the approval and admiration of others, is often clueless about how things look from someone else's perspective.
自恋者喜欢欣赏自己，谈论自己，喜欢任何可以成为世界中心的方式。
Narcissists love to look at themselves, talk about themselves... any way they can be the center of the universe.
当群体自恋者认同自己是某全国性团体的一分子时，同样的模式再次显现。
The same pattern was repeated when collective narcissists identified themselves as part of a national group.
取悦者最终被多数人稍加怜悯，可是自恋者会半路出现，大大地利用他们。
Pleasers end up being mildly pitied by most people, but narcissists cut right in and exploit the hell out of them.
与那些也与自恋者相处的人交流，因为他们会传授你一些实用性强的方法。
Talk to people who've dealt with narcissistic behavior as they can only tell you some practical ways to deal with difficult people.
自恋者不只是对自己有吸引力。至少从表面上看，他们对其他人也有吸引力。
Narcissists aren't just attractive to themselves. They are, at least superficially, attractive to other people.
自恋者对受到轻微的忽视或者冷落十分敏感，但当自己忽视他人时却无法察觉。
Narcissists are very sensitive to being overlooked or slighted in the smallest fashion, but they often fail to recognize when they are doing it to others.
我的专业建议是：不要与自恋者相爱，也不要因为亲密而随意满足其不切实际的予取予求。
My professional advice: Don't fall in love with a narcissist or entertain illusions they're capable of the give and take necessary for intimacy.
由于只看到电影的书面表达，他们认为自恋者的想法和非自恋者在创意程度方面不分伯仲。
Having only seen the movie pitches in written form, they found the narcissists' ideas to be about as creative as proposals from non-narcissists.
要应对自恋者，一个有帮助的方法是了解他们一般会在某个程度上十分憎恶自己。
To deal with narcissists, it helps to understand that they generally detest themselves at some level.
尽管这样可能会造成负面影响，作为一个自恋者根本不相信自己的确有这些问题。
Although, this may turn out to be negative, as a narcissist won't believe he is having some problem.
自大狂与自恋者的不同在于他希冀的是权力而不是魅力，追求被畏惧而不是被爱。
The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming , and seeks to be feared rather than loved.
自大狂与自恋者的不同在于他希冀的是权力而不是魅力，追求被畏惧而不是被爱。
The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming , and seeks to be feared rather than loved.
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