老天爷作证，玛丽，我不是开玩笑。
我不是开玩笑，在我做翻译的最初几年里我的确犯下很多错误，当然也出过很多最基本的问题。
I know what I am talking about. In my first years as a translator I did almost everything wrong, and I certainly made plenty of the most elementary mistakes.
请开始给你客户所期待所做的事多十倍的价值(我不是开玩笑)，放弃尽可能做多少就做多少的做事方式。
Start giving 10 times more value than what the customer expects from you (I am not kidding!). Go out of your way to provide as much value as possible.
半小时后，我不是在开玩笑了。
而且我也知道你不是开玩笑的。
我真的不是在开玩笑。你的信念是你所拥有的最好的工具。
I'm not at all joking, your mind is the most powerful tool you have, it has the power to make things and break things.
我并不是开玩笑，现在你可以101%穿着微软原版的衣服。
I'm not joking, now you can be 101% original by wearing Microsoft clothes.
很显然，对于这个“食谱”我幽默了一小下下，但我可不是在开玩笑：那些就是我所听到过的75%以上的广告的基本配料。
Obviously I was having a little fun with that recipe, but I’m not kidding; those are the basic ingredients for at least 75% of the commercials I hear!
用别人的肥胖开玩笑会伤害到别人，从我上六年级的时候就已经开始了伤害，我觉得我自己不是一个老师，我像一个喜剧演员。
Fat jokes hurt people just like they hurt me beginning in sixth grade. I think of myself as not only a teacher but as a comedian.
在某些情况中，用于延迟后台工作的代码使得前台的反应有点缓慢。这两种情况都让我昏昏欲睡，这不是开玩笑！
In some cases code designed to defer background work to keep the foreground responsive was actually slowing things down; in two cases I actually took out Sleeps, no joke!
“这并不是一种我喜欢的方式……那儿的空间甚至比一个棺材还要少，”他开玩笑说。
"It's not a way I would prefer to go up.... there's a little less room in there than a coffin," he joked.
上图是为埃维斯拍摄的最后一张照片。我想强调的是，我绝不是想开玩笑，但是前座上看来很可能有一群小孩子。
Below is the last known photo of Elvis... I would like it noted that I did not make a joke about there possibly being a bucket of chicken in the front seat.
他手上有蜘蛛人的图案，我无话找话，开玩笑地问他这是不是纹身。
He had a rub-on transfer of Spiderman on his hand, and for something to say I asked facetiously if it was a tattoo.
我一搞科研的同事不很看重这事。他是实验心理学家，不是温和、模糊的临床派。 当我和他提及我的文章时，他先是看了我好一会儿，最后他开玩笑说：“我已经盯着林肯隧道好多年了。”
I told him what I was writing about he stared at me for a long time, then finally quipped: “I've had my eye on the Lincoln Tunnel for years.
爸爸：我说了我不是很喜欢马戏团。我没有开玩笑。
Dad: I've said that I've got a problem with the circus. I'm not kidding.
我可不是开玩笑，我说的是实话。
如果你的老板说“我要看到明显的进步”或“你可能会因为这个被炒”之类的话，她不是在开玩笑。
If your boss says things like, "I need to see significant improvement" or "this could get you fired," she's not kidding.
是的，我没有开玩笑，据我所知，这绝对不是在开玩笑，他们一字一句的告诉我这种笔记本电脑叫做 Jisus。
No, I am not kidding, and as far as I know, this is not a joke, they are literally calling these notebooks Jisus.
他跟着我笑，当然不是因为听得懂玩笑，而是喜欢人们开玩笑。
He laughed with me, not getting the joke, of course, but loving the idea that people make jokes.
鲍勃：他们很喜欢开玩笑和恶作剧，但是我不是。
Bob: They are so fond of joking and playing tricks, but I am not.
菲利普：不！她正在开玩笑。那不是墨水，我不小心割破了手，那是绷带。
PHILIP: No! She's kidding herself. That wasn't ink, I cut myself. It was a bandage.
他开玩笑地说：“我这么帅应该演这姑娘的男朋友而不是老得掉牙的爹。”
“I’m [supposed to be] with the girl,” he continues with a laugh, “not the father of the girl.”
只是在以类似的方式，我们也可以继承的形式，我发誓，我不是在开玩笑。
Just in a similar fashion, we can also inherit a form and I swear I am not kidding.
琼斯先生：……不，不，我只是开玩笑。根本不是那样。
Mr Jones: … No, no, I'm only joking. It wasn't like that at all.
我不是在开玩笑。把它打开。
我不是在开玩笑。把它打开。
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