如果你是个体经营的，那就没有带薪休假或病假了。
There are no paid holidays or sick leave if you are self-employed.
如果你是自动驾驶，那就没事了。
如果你是新手，这同样重要。
如果你是独自一人，那么尽量保持清醒。
如果你是教授，难道不会喜欢正面的反馈吗？
Wouldn't you appreciate positive feedback if you were a professor?
不过，如果你是清华大学的学生，这些还不够。
Well, these are not enough if you are a student at Tsinghua University.
当然，如果你是班杰或奥特，那就另当别论了。
Of course if you were Badger or Otter, it would be quite another matter.
如果你是正确的，这支温度计的温度将会开始升高。
If you are right, the temperature in the thermometer will start to rise.
如果你是真的，那就坐到那个大凳子上，和我说说话。
如果你是一个非常内敛的人，刚开始可能会有点困难。
If you are a very reserved person, this could be a little difficult at first.
如果你是棒球队球童，那么你就要为棒球队员拿球棒。
If you are a batboy, then you are holding the bat for the baseball players.
如果你是比利·克里斯特尔的影迷，你就会喜欢这部电影。
如果你是蜘蛛侠，你会做什么？
如果你是我，你会喜欢猫吗？
汤姆，如果你是我的话，我会让你做的。
如果你是一个兽医，那你的运气可真不佳。
如果你是个乞丐，你会在人行道上写些什么？
What would you write, on the pavement, if you were a beggar?
如果你是当地居民，你会发现开一个银行账户很有用。
If you are a resident, you will find it useful to open a bank account.
如果你是一个方便面爱好者，人们可能会认为你很懒。
People may think you are lazy if you are an instant noodle lover.
如果你是一名雇员，那么你真正的头衔应该是职业赌徒。
If you're an employee, then your real job title should be professional gambler.
如果你是学生，只要你出示学生证，他们就会让你进去。
如果你是一名研究生助教，你的导师可能也是你的老板。
If you're a graduate teaching assistant, your adviser also maybe your boss.
如果你是个诚实的人，就说出来，否则我就把你扔下台阶！
Speak if you are an honest fellow, or I will throw you down the steps!
如果你是个好孩子，这也许是真的——但你太让人讨厌了！
If you were a nice boy it might be true—but you're too nasty!
如果你是一个游泳爱好者，成立一个游泳俱乐部是很好的事情。
If you are a swimming fan, it is great to start a swimming club.
“如果你是胡克，”他几乎是低声下气地说，“你来告诉我，我是谁？”
"If you are Hook," he said almost humbly, "come tell me, who am I?"
如果你是一名男性，而你正在读这篇文章，那么恭喜你：你是一名幸存者。
If you are a male and you are reading this, congratulations: you are a survivor.
一项新研究得出的结论是，如果你是一条巨蟒的话，脂肪对心脏是有好处的。
Fat does a heart good, if you're a python, a new study says.
解释一下为什么你认为这个人是一个好家长。如果你是一个家长并且忙于工作，你会自己照顾你的孩子还是雇一个保姆。
Explain why you think this person is a good parent. If you were a parent and you were busy at work, would you take care of your children on your own or hire a babysitter.
如果你想和客人单独呆在一起，你该如何说服别人一起出去？你如何说服他们留给你一个安静的环境，尤其是如果你是一个想学习的学生？
If you want privacy with a guest, how do you persuade the others to go out; how do you persuade them to leave you in peace, especially if you are a student and want to study?
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