“只是让事情更糟，”阿普特说。
“提供帮助往往被看作是批评，”阿普特说。
"Offers to help are often perceived as criticism," Apter said.
也许她不是世界上最好的婆婆，但阿普特在努力。
Maybe she's not the world's best mother-in-law yet, but Apter's working on it.
双方都感到失望，“给予这些关系独特的负面影响，”阿普特说。
It's the disappointment felt by both women that "gives these relationships their distinctive negative charge," Apter says.
阿普特博士称，一位受访女性称，她在结婚前两个月就不断地收到婆婆的来信。
Dr Apter said one woman she spoke to began receiving messages from her mother-in-law-to-be two months before the wedding.
正如阿普特在在她的书：“在她的“家庭中每个女人都是重要的”中所说的。”
As Apter sums up in her book: "Each is the primary woman in her primary family."
假设你的媳妇需要你的咨询。最不想听到“我这样做，你应该这样做的，”阿普特说。
Assuming your daughter-in-law wants your advice. Most don't want to hear "this is what I did so this is what you should do," says Apter.
虽然她是一个专业是家庭关系的心理学家，阿普特承认，她已落入一些常见的亲家陷阱里。
Although she's a psychologist specializing in family relations, Apter admits that she has fallen into some common in-law traps herself.
如果您的婆婆干涉太多，或尝尝来探访，或提供太多的建议，不要推迟谈论她，阿普特说。
Letting things slide at the start. If you find that your mother-in-law is interfering too much, or visiting too often, or offering too much advice, don't put off talking to her about it, says Apter.
正如阿普特的论断，很多情况既可能使我们兴奋，也可能令我们恐惧，这完全取决于对自身安全的判定。
As Apter explains, many situations can potentially arouse feelings of excitement or anxiety depending on how safe you believe yourself to be.
其次，根据航天飞机宇航员杰伊·阿普特的说法，在这个距离能看到其他物体，不能说看不到长城，但是只能勉强辨别出来。
Secondly, even though other objects are visible at this distance, according to Shuttle astronaut Jay Apt, the Great Wall is barely discernable, if not invisible.
其次，根据航天飞机宇航员杰伊·阿普特的说法，在这个距离能看到其他物体，不能说看不到长城，但是只能勉强辨别出来。
Secondly, even though other objects are visible at this distance, according to Shuttle astronaut Jay Apt, the Great Wall is barely discernable, if not invisible.
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