对美国重度施虐者的研究表明，施虐者觉得自己不被爱也不被需要。
Studies of heavy abusers in the United States show that they felt unloved and unwanted.
斗狗中受害的狗因为利益和“运动”而被折磨和杀害，然而他们的施虐者虽然给这些狗造成了终生的痛苦，却只被判处最低刑罚。
Dog-fighting victims are tortured and killed for profit and "sport", yet their criminal abusers often receive a minimal sentence for causing a lifetime of pain.
带他们来与我见面的人很有可能是同一个施虐者。
There’s a decent chance they were even brought in for their appointment by the very same person committing the abuse.
带他们来与我见面的人很有可能是同一个施虐者。
There's a decent chance they were even brought in for their appointment by the very same person committing the abuse.
康健的人不会他人——施虐者常常曾为受虐者。
The healthy man does not torture people else - generally it is the tortured who changing into torturers.
但是，在这个案例中，似乎每个人都需要关心，即使是施虐者。
But in this case, it seems, everyone needs concern, even the abuser.
在我们的书，并根据大多数定义，这是一个施虐者！
In our book, and according to most definitions, that's an abuser!
施虐者的人格类型经常具有富有魅力和诱惑的一面。
Abusive personality types frequently have a very charismatic and seductive side.
健康的人不会虐待他人——施虐者常常曾为受虐者。
The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
这一方法简单有效，施虐者在必要时候也可以很快松手。
This method is simple and effective, and also allows the Top to let up very quickly if necessary.
因此，很多女人害怕如果她们拒绝回到施虐者身边，会受到更严重的虐待。
As a result, many women come to fear more severe abuse if they refuse to return to their abusers.
请记住，一个施虐者的目标是控制你，他会经常伤害你这样做。
Remember, an abuser's goal is to control you, and he will frequently hurt you to do that.
考虑一下拨打家庭暴力热线以寻求建议，并且制作一个计划离开你的施虐者。
Consider calling a domestic violence hot line for advice and creating a plan to leave your abuser.
你的朋友没有透露自身遭受虐待的原因很有可能是他们受到了施虐者的恐吓。
The abuser may have threatened your friend, which is why your friend hasn't told anybody about the abuse.
考虑一下拨打家庭暴力热线以寻求建议，并且制作一个计划离开你的施虐者。
Consider calling a domestic violence hot line and creating a plan to leave your abuser.
施虐者经常会在受虐者选择离开的时候变本加厉其威胁和控制行为。
Often, abusive men step up their threatening and manipulative behavior right after their victims choose to leave.
正常人是不会折磨别人的，一般来说，被虐者最后会成为施虐者。
The healthy man is not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into tortures. Carl Jung.
他说大部分男性否认他们是施虐者，拒绝改变，而且相信女性才是犯错的一方。
He says most men deny that they are abusers, reject change, and believe the women are at fault.
这种情况下你离开了施虐者时，你会感到愤怒、悲伤以及遗憾都是很正常的事情。
It is normal for you to feel angry and sad, as well as regret that you left the abuser.
只要杨柳树归施虐者所有，法律就不会保护杨柳树免于施虐者的任何虐待。
There's no law protecting willow trees from any kind of abuse as long as they belong to the abuser.
你的朋友很可能认识并喜欢虐待他们的人，施虐者很有可能是他们家庭的成员。
The person abusing your friend could be somebody that they know and like, for example, a member of their family.
最值得警惕的时刻莫过于施虐者意识到了你打算离开他或她，所以你得有个备份的安全计划。
The time to be most vigilant is when the abuser realizes that you are planning to leave him or her.
最值得警惕的时刻莫过于施虐者意识到了你打算离开他或她，所以你得有个备份的安全计划。
The time to be most vigilant is when the abuser realizes that you are planning to leave him or her. Have a safety plan in place.
人们通常会去保护最脆弱的人群。但是，在这个案例中，似乎每个人都需要关心，即使是施虐者。
The usual impulse would be to protect the most vulnerable. But in this case, it seems, everyone needs concern, even the abuser.
情绪施虐者要让你做决定，而这些决定只是为了他或她的利益，却跟你本身的决定是不一致的。
An emotional abuser will want you to make decisions that are self serving for his or her interest. However, such a decision may not be in line with yours.
想看看怜悯之心会有怎样强大的回报使得朱莉摆脱了受害者的角色，而这个受害者的角色是施虐者竭力设计的。
The reward of seeing how potent her compassion was enabled Julie to rise above the victim-position her abusers endeavoured to trap her in.
想看看怜悯之心会有怎样强大的回报使得朱莉摆脱了受害者的角色，而这个受害者的角色是施虐者竭力设计的。
The reward of seeing how potent her compassion was enabled Julie to rise above the victim-position her abusers endeavoured to trap her in.
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