还有，爸爸，你之前也让我失望过，因为你有五年时间没有在我的生活里。
And you had disappointed me, Dad, because you have not been in my life for five years.
还有，爸爸，你之前也让我失望过，因为你有五年时间没有在我的生活里。
And you had disappointed me Dad because you have not been in my life for five years.
若是我告诉你在这里表面生活上的不舒适，那仅仅是哄哄自己的，这些从来没有占据过我的思想，除非在我想念这些的时候。
It is to amuse myself that I dwell on such subjects as the lack of external comforts: they never occupy my thoughts, except at the moment when I miss them.
“如果你意识到这一点，并且确保你有时间花在你自己的生活上，你就能处理好它”，她说“我想，对外界来说，人们不希望我过一个正常的生活。”
"If you're conscious of it and make sure that you have time on your own, you can pull it off," she says. "I think from the outside, people don't expect mine to be a normal life."
我已经多次提及过他们，你可能也注意到他们一直快乐地生活在我博客的大脚上。
I have mentioned them quite a few times already and you have probably noticed that they live happily in the footer of my blog.
爸爸，你是不是通过我而假想替身地活着，以希望我的成就将使你平庸的生活正当化，并且在某个方式上补偿所有你糟蹋过的机会呢？
Dad, are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all the opportunities you botched?
我答应过你要让你幸福的。可是生活有时候太难了，我觉得好累。我怕你离开我。
I promised to make you happy. Sometimes life is too hard. I am so tired. I was afraid you'd leave me.
你在应该得到更多生活的时候死了…你在我不知道的痛苦中活着，那么多我不能想象的痛苦，即使我已经经历过。
You died a life where you deserved so much more… you lived with pain that I never knew, far more terrible than I can even begin to imagine, even with all I've been through.
你看，过久，我住我的生活在黑暗的云层，甚至不知道这种服务器。
You see, for too long I lived my life in a dark cloud without even knowing it.
当我抱怨生活中明显的不公平时，她会说，“我从没有对你说过生活是公平的”，我记不清这话她跟我说了多少遍了。
I can't count The Times she's told me, "I never told you life was fair," when I would rail at the obvious inequities in my life.
但如果这不是我想要的呢？我是说，如果我不想要过你这样的生活呢？
But what if this isn't what I want? I mean, what if I don't wanna live the way you live?
然后我可以甩下你，过我自己的生活。
我的坚强来源于你的肯定，让我有勇气选择要过自己的生活。
My strong affirmation from you, let me have the courage to choose to live their lives.
我的坚强来源于你的肯定，让我有勇气选择要过自己的生活。
My strong affirmation from you, let me have the courage to choose to live their lives.
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