谢谢你是我尿裤的“便便”。
当我的脸上长满了青春痘，我尿了裤子或是害怕下楼梯时，你还会爱我吗？
Will you still love me when I have acne, when I wet bed, or when I'm afraid what's on upstairs?
白天我出现在电视上的访谈节目中，晚上则回家换尿片。
I appeared on TV talk shows during the day and changed diapers at night.
我想到了家，这个很管用，我开始昏昏欲睡，我终于注意到我擦大腿的那只袜子上的血迹，尿出来的血，却马上睡着了。
And only then as I finally fall asleep do I register the blood I saw on the sock when I wiped my leg, the blood from my piss. I sleep.
我后来搬到了布拉格，因为看到这个穿着尿片的大婴儿呕吐得到处都是，见东西就咬，我实在难以忍受。
I eventually moved to Prague because of my frustration with this great big baby in diapers shitting and throwing up all over the place, teething on whatever it could find.
作为一个有着幼小弟妹的孩子，我必须努力劳动。我日常的工作有：取水，做饭和换尿片。
As a child with younger siblings I had to work hard: my daily routine included fetching water, cooking and changing nappies.
我为自己的丈夫感到骄傲，他想尽办法，竭尽所能让这个家维持下去，即便这意味着去擦地板，洗尿斗儿。
I am very proud of my husband that he will go to any lengths, do whatever it takes, to keep his family afloat, if it means mopping floors, cleaning urinals.
我还知道怎么弄掉布帘和桌布上的尿渍。
Just ask me how to get urine stains out of drapes anda tablecloth.
时间不短，等尿完的时候我差不多已经又睡着了。
It takes a while. By the time I finish I'm just about asleep again.
我的老师在大笑之余告诉我，那是猪尿。
My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine.
我老是想着要干掉写那两个字的人，我琢磨会是哪个变态流浪汉深夜溜进学校里 撒了泡尿还是怎么样，然后在墙上写了那两个字。
I kept wanting to kill whoever'd written it. I figured it was some perverty bum that'd sneaked in the school late at night to take a leak or something and then wrote it on the wall.
“我用它撒不出尿了，”男人回答。
我需要找到用便便纸制作尿片的方法。
I need to figure out how to make diapers out of Poo Poo Paper.
我记得我去上厕所的时候，有一哥们拿着枪就站在我身边，整的我都尿不出来了。
I remember I would go to bathroom and there's a man you know standing with a gun next to me, which makes it pretty hard to pee.
我一直觉得自己是个新潮的参与型的爸爸- - -我会给孩子换尿片，会炸自己那一份鸡块，会在夜里起来哄哭闹的孩子。
I used to think of myself as a typical modern, hands-on dad - changing nappies, cooking my share of chicken nuggets and often climbing out of bed to deal with the crying in the middle of the night.
我注意到公寓的墙薄的过份，我就听到邻居慢慢的上楼来，关厕所的门，掀开马桶盖，尿完以后来了个很爽的”AAHH”。
I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH.
之后飞行员就消失了，我在关舱门前还站在门口撒了泡尿。
Then the pilot's gone, and even before I shut the cabin door, I stand at the edge of the doorway and take a leak after him.
“我觉得这太荒唐了，他们肯定是用过药的。”Rice先生自己正在服用辛伐他汀治疗高血脂，服用双氢克尿噻治疗高血压，这些都不是违禁药物。
"I said, how ridiculous is that - they've got to be taking something," said Mr. Rice, who takes Zocor for high cholesterol and hydrochlorothiazide for high blood pressure, neither of which is banned.
有多少次我拿起了一罐Balmex尿片？
我怎么能在床上尿呢？
我是您一泡尿一泡屎，养起来的儿子呀，你还客气什么？
I is you a bubble urine one bubble excrement, raise up son ah, you still polite?
“红色尿”原来也是那些药的副作用之一，只是医生忘了告诉我。
Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of.
那位阿姨还让我和小兔照相，当时一只小白兔拉了尿，我们都笑了。
Let me and my aunt who is also rabbit photography, then pulled a small white rabbit urine, we all laughed.
那位阿姨还让我和小兔照相，当时一只小白兔拉了尿，我们都笑了。
Let me and my aunt who is also rabbit photography, then pulled a small white rabbit urine, we all laughed.
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