When it comes to gender expression, don't assume that the person wearing the pants at the wedding plays a dominant role in the relationship, she said.

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But that was Cramer, agree his friends, an occasionally shambling presence who was also a keen observer, a raconteur, a baseball fan, a master of ceremonies. (He served the latter role at Pakenham's wedding.) Ward imagines him in another time, another place, holding court with some other witty friends.

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He has admitted he acted as a matchmaker - a ceremonial role - at a gangster's wedding and attended a party thrown by a "yakuza" crime group boss.

BBC: Japan justice minister resigns amid gang ties scandal