Mother: We will contact Grandpa immediately.

CNN: 'Mom, don't panic ... but there's a gunman going loose here'

If we start corralling every white Southern grandpa who ever committed a hate crime, we may have to throw a dragnet over every old folks home south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

NPR: 'Mississippi Burning,' 41 Years Too Late

Of course, the event we're all most looking forward to is the speech by Grandpa Giscard on the future of Europe.

ECONOMIST: Charlemagne

We devoted our first hour to meeting the 14 coaches, including Tony "Grandpa" Muser, former manager of the Kansas City Royals, equal parts curmudgeon and Zen master.

WSJ: Pro Ball Baseball Clinic Weekend