Everyone was clutching on to one another underneath the table, just hoping for it to end.

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"They don't actually fit underneath the table, so for you to come in to the Cross Keys to have a meal you step out of those things, and sit in a chair, which then means those things are left wherever in the pub".

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The most coveted table, underneath a painting called The Absinthe Drinker, was, as ever, "reserved".

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Hang your TV: For more space to showcase your organizational prowess, hang your TV, but keep the table underneath to store your movies and books.

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