In this grab bag of narrative trickery, he tells the penny-dreadful tale of the house painter Guy Maddin (Eric Maahs), who is ordered by his mother to return to the island lighthouse where he grew up and give it two coats of paint.

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We were two sombre boys hunched in our coats, grim winter settling in.

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"It looks like a hot dog pizza, " he ridiculed, as his two culinary colleagues, also in white coats, cracked up.

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Outerwear came in one of two iterations there were oversized, mannish coats (some dipped in glittering crystals, others sprouting feathers at the sleeves), and floor-sweeping duster coats (some with mink trims, others mink all over).

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He said that, when the two men came down half an hour later, Mr Coats told him that Ms Spence was not allowed to go to the toilet and that he and Smith were not to speak to her.

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Of the 100 people I saw in the space of two hours about 40% were wearing trainers and not the adequate trousers or coats.

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Jurors also heard Mr Parker told Ms Watt that threats had been made against her and her two sons, who were 11 and 14 at the time, by Mr Wade and Mr Coats.

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