Or perhaps you are quite rightly worried by the continuing growls between Greece and Turkey, and would therefore like to know how far eastward along Turkey's coast the island-fingertips of Greece extend.
Moreover, it is hard to see how Turkey can ever join the EU without a settlement in Cyprus, since it would first have to recognise the Greek-Cypriot government and abandon the Turkish-Cypriots.
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Since the Netherlands will be holding the EU's rotating presidency in the second half of the year, I asked Ben Bot, the Dutch foreign minister (and a former Dutch ambassador to Turkey) how worried he is about the lack of public support among Western voters?
Do you have any suggestions on how to brine a turkey that doesn't fit in the fridge bin?
And the real issue that Western leaders must address is how things in Turkey were permitted to deteriorate to the point they have without any US or European official lifting a finger to stem the Islamist tide?
It is a matter for others to judge how proportionate Turkey's response was.
But if America decides to go ahead without one Turkey may still, reluctantly, agree to support it, given how much it has to gain from a short, successful war and how much it stands to lose if it backs out and incurs America's wrath.
Which is why he has brought to Turkey his West Texas drilling know-how and his pocketbook.
But tears brimmed in his eyes as he told me how he was forced - again, in Turkey - to have a kidney removed.
As the turkey was being brought out, the cousin said how happy he was to be there with his wife and son.
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Ms Kocabiyikoglu, of Bilkent University in Turkey, and Ms Popescu, of INSEAD, address the problem of how to motivate managers to work harder by adjusting their pay.
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American pundits might like to try the following two thought experiments, based on real-life EU instruments, and imagine how, with Mexico playing the part of Turkey, they would sell either to American voters.
The mayors of Kars in Turkey and Gyumri in Armenia have held several meetings over the past year to discuss how they might get round the blockade.
The British Heart Foundation says Christmas lunch can provide more calories than are needed in an entire day and has advice on how to reduce fat and calorie consumption, such as removing skin from turkey and eating slowly.
Turkey and the US both oppose Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, but differ on how best to support the opposition.
And from a business and IT perspective, Butterball knows how to reduce operational costs, enable rapid acquisitions and create products (they sell much more than turkey) that delight consumers.
In a special Correspondent to coincide with Holocaust memorial week, Fergal Keane investigates how a terrible slaughter, three quarters of a century ago, has returned to haunt the relationship between Turkey and its western allies.
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