So, "John Carpenter's Vampires" stinks, and "Paul Tatara's Review of John Carpenter's Vampires" won't be a review so much as it'll be a check list for posturing teenage boys.

CNN: Review: 'John Carpenter's Vampires' stinks worse than garlic

As foul as it is, I'd argue that the main reason kids shouldn't see "John Carpenter's Vampires" is because it might stunt their emotional development.

CNN: Review: 'John Carpenter's Vampires' stinks worse than garlic