The talents of Alan Rickman, Juliet Stevenson and Kristen Scott-Thomas nevertheless conspire with Mr Minghella's bravura film-making technique to crush the play's humours.
The Liverpool-born star, recently seen on the BBC's Doctor Who, also appears in Nowhere Boy alongside Kristin Scott Thomas and Anne-Marie Duff.
And they had plenty of possession and territory, overcoming the loss of scrum-half Warren Fury to the sin-bin in the first half to even lead 6-3 at one stage, when full-back Thomas's penalty was followed by Scott Barrow's drop goal six minutes from half-time - fair reward for the bottom club's spirit and competitiveness at the breakdown.
CNN's Tom Watkins, Laura Smith-Spark, Scott Zamost, Alex Thomas and Emanuella Grinberg, and HLN's Anna Lanfreschi contributed to this report.
As for the pretty younger woman, that's where writer-director Scott Cooper's otherwise bull-free first feature, based on a novel by Thomas Cobb, goes soft.
The once-in-a-lifetime cast includes Michael Gambon, Kristin Scott Thomas, Maggie Smith, Jeremy Northam, and Charles Dance as the swells, and Helen Mirren, Eileen Atkins, Alan Bates, Clive Owen, and Emily Watson as the servants.
Captain Scott Brown and defenders Thomas Rogne and Mark Wilson returned to the Celtic line-up, replacing Ki Sung-Yeung, Glenn Loovens and Efrain Juarez, all of whom featured on the substitutes' bench.
Bridget Sharkey and her 21-year-old brother Thomas died following a deliberate fire at their home in Scott Court, Helensburgh on 24 July.
Hamilton's Joel Thomas sent in a well-timed effort before half-time, but Scott Severin's block denied him.
"The answer to the allergy is sugar, " said Dr. Thomas Platts-Mills, who discovered the allergy with his junior colleague Dr. Scott Commins.
Scott Thomas plays Kay Chandler, a congresswoman from New Hampshire running a hotly contested campaign for re-election.
Ceiron Thomas scored 14 points and set up Scott Mathie's try as Leeds claimed their first-ever win over the Sharks, who suffered a sixth straight defeat.
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