"You sit in your house watching TV, but you're not even watching it, you're dreaming about scoring, " he told BBC Radio Cumbria.

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As the Chinese say, if you want to sleep in the same bed you have to be sure you're dreaming the same dreams.

ECONOMIST: Foreign insurers eye up a fast-expanding market

Resisting the temptation to simply request "real", I opted instead for - and here's a look into my mind - a brunette, aged 25, who was well-educated and with a passing interest in stand-up comedy, film and, since we're dreaming, football.

BBC: Fake girlfriend: I paid for make-believe love on Facebook

Those in the industry who think that Windows 8 are going to re-invigorate PC sales or bring levels back to the good old days are dreaming.

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