But the recommended Kobe meat loaf at Sunday brunch was so greasy it left droplets of oil on the plate.

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"I like pools of olive oil on my plate, " he said.

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Soldiers rolled drums of corn and vegetable oil to the camp, and we ate one plate each.

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"Here we have power steering fluid, some diesel oil and some dirty old crankcase oil, " he says, creating a mess on a paper plate.

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What's more, a machine-made surface produces the wrong kind of friction: to do its job precisely, the plate's surface needs minute scorings, of only a few microns each, where machine oil can reside.

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The mother returned with a plate and placed it on the rug: crumbled feta and sliced tomato submerged in the pee yellow of cotton oil.

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