The external review, which will be conducted by former Justice Department official Kenneth L. Wainstein, a Washington attorney perhaps best known in sports for representing Gilbert Arenas after he brought guns to the Wizards locker room and confronted a teammate.

NPR: Latest NCAA Scandal Comes From Headquarters

Enter tree lover Peter L. Malkin, a real-estate heavyweight perhaps best known for his lengthy battle with Leona Helmsley over control of the Empire State Building.

WSJ: If a Tree Falls, Will the Lights Go Out? Maybe in Connecticut

Perhaps the Kaplan-Goldhammer team will turn their attention to the essays of "L'Envers et l'endroit" and "Noces, " books about a country that no longer exists by one of the 20th century's most enduring writers.

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