The big test for the writer was to keep the suspense going though the breaks for advertisements for beer or cereal or whatever: eight minutes of them in a 30-minute programme.
We taught them to pass the salt around the table rather than over it, how they should place their knife and fork on their plates at the end of a meal, and the proper way to lean their soup or cereal bowl when spooning out the last drops.
If you dress up your yogurt or sugary cereal or bread or sugar water as a drug, you can sell it for high prices at upscale shops to soccer Moms eager to hop on the latest health food trend.
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Well, you can always shift to a different cereal or eat something different for breakfast, bacon and eggs.
In many places, irrigation and fertiliser subsidies, government marketing and other schemes implicitly or explicitly favour cereal farmers.
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But are the arguments compelling enough to make you munch on a bag of crunchy scorpions or sprinkle your cereal with squidgy larvae?
From January, Blackpool's 12, 000 primary school pupils are to receive free milk, fruit juice, cereal or toast as part of a three-month trial.
Selling financial products is much more complex than, say, selling cereal or soap, and the industry is highly regulated. it requires having people familiar with the products intimately.
But certainly not the cereal or the aluminum foil.
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Or, breakfast cereal on the carpet.
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Eat a fruit, cereal, or something else healthy whenever you have the urge to eat some processed foods to gain back some energy.
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People may go about selecting a consultant, a cloud based storage system or a box of cereal in a different set of steps, but people buy emotionally and justify their decisions intellectually.
The other day, I literally was at the pantry, looking in as usual debating, which would be better making a sandwich or having a bowl of cereal?
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As they reach for a particular cereal or even just look at it a display iPad makes a special promotional offer, either for the box being vied or a competitive offering.
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Think about Swiffer, Dyson vacuum cleaners, think Special K cereal, Wikipedia, or Google.
It's easy to overeat if you munch straight from a box of cereal, for instance, or a bag of pretzels.
Color, then, is another marketing tool, like an enticing image or well-written blurb on the back of a cereal box.
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Encourage your daughter to eat starchy carbohydrates such as cereal, bread, rice, potatoes, pasta or beans at every meal and snack.
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Then there is the commercial -- I don't even remember what they were pitching -- of two or three kids in the kitchen making a mess after spilling the cereal.
Ways to get it in your kid's diet: Sprinkle it on oatmeal, pancakes, cold cereal and yogurt, and add a few extra dashes of cinnamon to muffin or quick-bread recipes that call for it.
The price of sugar is two or three times higher than world levels, and that increases the price of everything from breakfast cereal and all kinds of other products.
So there's your choice, America: because while we may have put 100 new cereal varieties on the shelves, at the voting booth it's still just Red or Blue.
Cereal will probably not taste as good when facing the issue: Do we change our love, or will our football appetite prey on the child?
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