Bringing your friends home to show off a new Ham radio or your great-great-great grandfather's rebel flag probably won't boost your popularity in high school.
As they unpack the brand-new sneakers, canned ham, chocolates and packages of Top Ramen noodles, it's clear that what Lance and Virgil really want for Christmas won't fit in a 20-by-20-inch cardboard box.
"We understand the responsibilities that come with calling the nation's iconic Olympic Stadium, which will be converted into a world-class football stadium, our new home, " West Ham joint chairmen David Sullivan and David Gold said in a statement.
It was a goal to suggest that the age of austerity ushered in by West Ham's new ownership, whose cost-cutting measures reportedly include regulating the use of lighting and heating at Upton Park, does not stretch to defensive matters.
On the day West Ham's new co-owners, David Gold and David Sullivan, stepped up their bid to occupy the Olympic Stadium after the 2012 Games, the pair will be desperately hoping their club will still be in the top-flight to enjoy it.
West Ham's relatively new commitment to retaining the track has buoyed enthusiasm about the club's bid.
Mrs Watson, who now lives with her husband in her new four-bedroom house in Ham Green, near Bristol, supports moves to make sellers' packs compulsory.
MacDonald, who has been in charge of the reserves, will oversee the first team for Villa's opening game of the new Premier League season against West Ham on Saturday before a trip to Newcastle on Sunday 22 August.
"Every penny raised would be used to pay off debts and buy new players, " added the West Ham co-owner.
Arsenal playmaker Ramsey, West Ham sensation Collison, Celtic new boy Ledley, Wolverhampton Wanderers youngster Edwards and King of Leicester are ahead of Davies in Toshack's pecking order.
Croatia coach Bilic is still under contract but agent Rudi Vata told BBC Scotland earlier this week that the former Everton and West Ham defender was keen for a new challenge.
France striker Loic Remy scored on his debut for QPR in a 1-1 draw with West Ham United, while Newcastle's new French midfielder Moussa Sissoko dominated the game during Tuesday's 2-0 win at relegation rivals Aston Villa, who preferred a strategy of financial prudence, which may yet backfire.
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It has already been reported that West Ham are interested in making the stadium their new home after the Games.
It certainly tells you more than the ham-handed treatment of the subject in the new Julian Fellowes miniseries.
However, the omens do not look good for West Ham if they are still bottom going into the new year with West Brom the only club to ever survive relegation when doing so.
West Ham do have several attacking options, however, including new signing Demba Ba, Carlton Cole, Frederic Piquionne, Victor Obinna and Freddie Sears.
That opens the possibility for Championship football club West Ham and their bid partner Newham Council to submit a new, lower risk proposal which could still see them move in after London 2012.
West Ham has signed forex broker Alpari as the club's new principal sponsor.
The 45-year-old Clarke joins West Ham on a three-year deal, joining up with new boss Gianfranco Zola, after handing in his resignation last Thursday.
After attaching such an important tag to this encounter, it appeared pivotal to the future of Grant - who had new right-hand man Wally Downes at his side - that West Ham emerged victorious.
Quinn said a new boss would be in place before Sunderland's next Premiership match, against West Ham on 19 October.
These hacker outdoorsmen, he says, remind him of the ham radio heads of his youth, who would hold survivalist exercises in the New Jersey woods.
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We were Southern whites from Nashville and skinheads from New Jersey, black kids from Cleveland wearing ghetto rags and white ex-cons with ham-hock forearms defaced by jailhouse tattoos.
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Federal agents uncovered the kickback scheme while investigating the suspicious financial activities of Nathaniel Ham, a credit union employee who had worked for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey.
Mr Hone is currently negotiating a deal for West Ham to move into the stadium, probably for the 2016-17 season after a new system of retractable seats has been fitted.
FIFA, meanwhile, have announced new rules to clamp down on third-party ownership of players following the Carlos Tevez controversy involving West Ham.
The two Davids at West Ham will not appreciate that kind of language but, by the time any negotiations do start, a new government may be involved.
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