The odds of Dwight Howard remaining in Orlando as a member of the Magic are similar to my odds of growing a crop of hair on par with Redfoo of LMFAO.

FORBES: Will Stan Van Gundy's Dismissal Cause Dwight Howard and Team's Relevancy to Disappear from Magic Kingdom?

So a couple of Saturdays ago, I finally sat down with my magic crystal ball.

FORBES: How I Use a Crystal Ball to Plan My Year