Just as these establishments know better than to try to be all things to all people, so did my hotel, the very grown-up Villa Magna (which sponsored my trip).

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Within seconds a small army of men in spotless white jellabiya robes arrived, whisking me and my bags to a one-story villa split into two guest rooms.

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Those from the Felton Road, Cloudy Bay and Villa Maria estates are welcome in my cellar any day.

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At 6 this morning my parents, Ted and Donna Storke, who live in Oceanside (a few blocks from Camp Pendleton), received a call from the Villa Monte Vista Care Center where my grandma, Mary Storke, lives.

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"I know Alan Thompson from Villa, Paul Telfer from Coventry and Roy Keane from my Manchester United days, " added Dublin.

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The only difficulty was now that Mr. Haggis had warned us that the script had no Act III when it arrived on his villa's doorstep, I spent the movie on the edge of my lounger trying to decide when the act started so that I'd know we were being treated to the full flower of Mr. Haggis's genius.

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