Major Sir Michael Parker was knighted for organising the Queen Mother's centenary pageant on London's Horse Guards.

BBC: Liz Dawn

W. Craig Fugate, Administrator, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), Department of Homeland Security, named Michael L. Parker as the Federal Coordinating Officer for Federal recovery operations in the affected area.

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"Because I didn't drink coffee, he was assigned to get me a chocolate doughnut, " she told an audience that included Michael Douglas and Sarah Jessica Parker.

BBC: Streisand and Minnelli pay tribute to Marvin Hamlisch

Michael Essien scored two and Salomon Kalou one for the Blues before Scott Parker grabbed a late consolation.

BBC: Avram Grant says West Ham 'not a team for relegation'

The sorority email is amusing when Michael Shannon reads it on Funny Or Die or when you think of it as a great dark comedy monologue for Parker Posey to recite.

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