When Air Force One landed there were like 50 people waiting to shake my hand -- they got icicles on their eyebrows. (Laughter.) I was like, hey, great weather. (Laughter.) So I want to thank all of you for making the trek out here.
Now laughter, like yawning and vomiting, is another contagious behavior.
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People -- a lot of folks, they just missed that part. (Laughter.) They were like, hope, change -- (laughter) -- and they thought, nice swearing-in, you got Bruce Springsteen singing. (Laughter.) Everybody is feeling good.
But his work inspires a lot of laughter and I like this infographic he did recently to celebrate the Tesla Museum fundraiser project.
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And tell your families we appreciate them letting you float up into space like this. (Laughter.) All right?
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And it was so remarkable that my trip director who was with me -- he said, this stuff is like magic. (Laughter.) How do they do this?
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And when you come home from a long day at work, and the refrigerator is empty, and you know you don't feel like cooking -- (laughter) -- the easiest and sometimes the cheapest thing to do is to get in a fast food drive-thru.
Governor Romney and his allies in Congress think that the solution, the way we provide strong growth and opportunity, is to provide tax cuts for folks like you. (Laughter.) And, listen, I understand nobody likes paying taxes, but that recipe we tried.
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And if you can take a couple of weeks off -- because some of you just hang a habit like that -- (laughter) -- we encourage you to join our Vote Corps program to get out the vote specifically in Ohio, which is a key state.
And I see Erin, and I just have to say that she has six kids -- (laughter) -- and she looks awesome, and I want to be like her when I grow up. (Laughter.) So thank you both for having us here today.
All right, everyone, take a seat, and have a glass of wine -- (laughter) -- all right, because I'm going to sell you guys out. (Laughter.) They were passing around a little glass, and I was like, what's that? (Laughter.) So please feel free.
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And the other thing is people know who you are everywhere -- obviously. (Laughter.) So you have to -- you always have to like shave and comb your hair and -- (laughter) -- you can't just roll out of bed and be out there. (Laughter.) So that kind of stuff can be a little tough.
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It is not easy to make young kids sit still. (Laughter.) They like to move.
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It was terrible. (Laughter.) Just like I remember pumping gas.
And yet, the fellow on the stage last night -- who looked like Mitt Romney -- (laughter) -- said he did not know anything about that.
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Michelle and I have been blessed with a new nephew this year as well -- Austin Lucas Robinson. (Applause.) So maybe at the appropriate time we can make introductions. (Laughter.) Now, if Jordan's father is like me, then that will be in about 30 years. (Laughter.) That is a great blessing.
You all used to like to build roads. (Laughter.) Right?
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And she sat there, and I thought her bonnet was going to flip off her head. (Laughter.) It was like, what did I just hear?
Okay, I like to hear that. (Laughter.) That means giving more Americans the chance to learn the skills that businesses are looking for right now.
But that looks like a long ways off. (Laughter.) He looks pretty young and pretty fit.
Now, I just paid taxes, so I'm -- it's not like I love paying taxes. (Laughter.) But I can afford it.
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Even when it's snowing outside, I'm fired up. (Applause.) I don't know where else you can go sledding in Halloween. (Laughter.) It's like, what's up with the snow this soon?
But the characters in "Laughter on the 23rd Floor, " like "The Sunshine Boys" before it, have a logical reason to be telling jokes, which is that they write them for a living ("If Max Prince laughs, my kids eat this week").
Now, up until this point I've never met a Republican who didn't like a good tax cut -- (laughter) -- but you remember when I mentioned this at the State of the Union, Joe, they were all kind of squirming in their seats.
Then you have President Clinton who made the case the only way that he can. (Applause.) Somebody sent out a tweet after he spoke -- he said, somebody needs to make him secretary of explaining stuff -- (laughter) -- which I like.
My question is would you please raise my taxes? (Laughter and applause.) I would like very much to have the country to continue to invest in things like Pell Grants and infrastructure and job training programs that made it possible for me to get to where I am.
And we loved those hats -- (laughter) -- that she wore like a crown -- regal.
"When I went back to the living room, the guys were all chuckling and I said something like 'beefy goodness' and they all exploded with laughter, " he said.
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