Yet, the 18th Duchess of Alba, Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva (yes, that is her name), is giving up her immense fortune to marry a minor civil servant, Alfonso Diez.
Two marvelous Van Dycks dated 1634 hang across from the Rembrandt: Princess Henrietta of Lorraine, attended by a page, and James Stuart, First Duke of Richmond, a beautiful young man with cascading blond locks, attended by his powerful hound and backed up, like Princess Henrietta, by voluminous drapery.
He joins James Anderson, Stuart Broad, Paul Collingwood and Graeme Swann on the sidelines ahead of the first ODI.
Ironically, it was those same bowlers - particularly James Anderson and Stuart Broad - who were culpable against West Indies.
One of the best recent histories I have read is Unknown Nation: Australia after Empire by James Curran and Stuart Ward.
South Africa's response was helped by some poor England bowling early on, with James Anderson and Stuart Broad proving wayward and expensive.
In the forwards, new skipper James Graham and Stuart Fielden, returning to the international stage for the first time in four years, start at prop.
But James Anderson and Stuart Broad sent down some loose early deliveries and Gibbs and Amla took full advantage in a strong start by the tourists.
James Anderson and Stuart Broad probed away in search of early wickets, but in Sehwag and Gambhir the tourists were faced with world cricket's in-form first-wicket partnership.
He has been instrumental in helping seamers Ryan Sidebottom, James Anderson and Stuart Broad produce a string of consistent performances in the 3-2 series win in Sri Lanka.
Having begun in a hurry with the key wickets of Hashim Amla (75) and Jacques Kallis (7) - brilliant catches by Matt Prior and James Anderson rewarding Stuart Broad and Ryan Sidebottom respectively - England had fewer answers to De Villiers and Boucher.
BBC: England on course for heavy defeat in Johannesburg Test
During his time on the sidelines, England retained the urn with a resounding 3-1 win down under, and the strength of the pace attack would seemingly leave Onions behind James Anderson, Stuart Broad, Chris Tremlett, Steve Finn and Tim Bresnan in the pecking order.
It took a long time for England, whose attack lacked the rested James Anderson and injured Stuart Broad, to gain a foothold.
South Africa accused Stuart Broad and James Anderson of tampering on day three but did not officially complain.
Pacemen Stuart Broad, James Anderson and Liam Plunkett shared seven wickets as West Indies were all out for 146.
In my view, either Swann or Panesar should have opened the attack at the start of the day with James Anderson, rather than Stuart Broad.
Swann topped a shortlist which also included Test and one-day captain Andrew Strauss, Twenty20 skipper Paul Collingwood, and pace bowlers Stuart Broad and James Anderson.
The likes of Graham Onions, Tim Bresnan, Stuart Broad and James Anderson all deserve their shot for their country but whether they have the ability to be such an impact player remains to be seen.
All of England's bowlers performed efficiently, without any need for fireworks, as James Anderson grabbed three wickets and Stuart Broad a pair to help smother the West Indian run-chase, which also included three run outs.
Stuart Broad, Ryan Sidebottom and James Anderson all kept their heads at the end, producing yorker after yorker to send the holders home.
In the bowling department, Ryan Sidebottom and Stuart Broad have fully justified their selections ahead of James Anderson, while all-rounder Tim Bresnan has chipped in with crucial wickets and runs.
James Grady raced to the edge of the box, turned past his marker Stuart Golabek and broke inside, but his curling shot went well wide.
James Anderson is a much improved bowler who led the England attack impressively and both Stuart Broad and Steven Finn showed they are going to be a handful for Australia's batsmen this summer.
He certainly exposed a weakness in Philip Hughes, who was roughed up in both his brief innings - but with Andrew Flintoff back in the team, England have the firepower (remember as well how Stuart Broad dealt with Ramnaresh Sarwan at Chester-le-Street?) and they need James Anderson's ability to swing the ball.
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