Even on Saturday, when Keane had been suckered into a red card by Jason McAteer - hardly the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to the game's black arts - Ferguson's first instinct was a defensive one.

BBC: Keane's hell freezes over

We're asking you to e-mail us with that first line from your novel that's been in the drawer all these years.

NPR: Could You Be the Great American Novelist?