However, after having children I wanted my mother to be by my side.

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"I'm standing here in front of my mother and my daughter, and my whole life I wanted to make my mother proud, and now I want to make my daughter proud, " she said, holding back tears.

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What worked for me was (years ago) letting my mother know I wanted to be able to help her if and when the time came.

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"I wanted to produce a film my mother could watch, " says Neo, 38.

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"After losing my son, I wanted to do something to help other people, to help another mother not have to suffer the way I do every day from the loss of a child drowning, " she said.

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When I brought her home from her mother's, I abandoned the rules I had set and let her do whatever she wanted, in fact my mother and grandmother visited the next day and she forgot that she was supposed to get dressed before receiving visitors.

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My mother wanted to know why I had not come to live at home after finals, and I told her that a kindly older tutor was preparing me for my interview.

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My mother wanted to see this - I'm seeing it for her.

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And until my grandmother passed away at 12, that is when my mother came back, came to get me because I had nothing but my grandfather there in the house and my mother wanted me to be with her.

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My husband inadvertently compounded my discomfort each Mother's Day by asking me what kind of gift I wanted.

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