That's right: I said "unleash the sizzle, " like you are holding a dove and a top hat, and I'm sitting behind a desk with a cigar in the Brill Building.

WSJ: Jason Gay: Super Bowl XLVIII: Unleash The Sizzle

But I have to tip my hat to someone who already said it better than I could, and send you in the direction Grantland for Charles P.

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To understand, I need you to take off your fan hat and put on your CEO hat.

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"I won't make a hat so big you can't get through the door to the facilities, " said Ms. Singer, the Lexington, Ky.

WSJ: Hatmaker Polly Singer | 60 Seconds With

Then we were off, you in that swooping straw hat with its touch of forties glamour, I in that floppy thing that makes me look like a demented explorer.

NEWYORKER: History of a Disturbance

Lest you think I'm one of those injustice-collecting urban paranoids with a tinfoil hat and a plastic bag containing a brisket and a manifesto in tiny handwriting, a New York crazy who has a problem with everybody and everything, I should mention that I grew up with -- and adored -- a dog of my very own.

CNN: I don't love your dog -- and you can't make me!