Helen Armstrong told the court she overheard Mr Mosley say in a smoking room at Gala Bingo in Derby: "I think I should hand myself in".

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She reached her hand in and I got hold of it and pried myself from under the wheel.

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After all, I live in Los Angeles and have myself brandished the universal hand gesture of disrespect.

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For a first-hand look at that opportunity I find myself onboard a Navy C-2A Greyhound in July approaching the USS Nimitz some 45 miles off Oahu.

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On one hand I would like to assert myself as the leader, especially being a female and relatively young in this culture that prefers male and seniority.

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Hoff sent me a Flip camera and told me to follow myself around with it, so I did, holding the Flip in my left hand and learning how to address the camera and how not to want to puke when I saw myself on video at first.

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As he stood there with the pen in his hand, very obviously reading the badge pinned to my lapel, I found myself wanting to shake him out of the little dream he was in.

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Reluctant to sidle up to a stranger and introduce myself, I roam, like I did at college parties, self-conscious, seltzer water in hand, not fitting in.

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