By this time the majority of the dog's right ear was missing, exposing his ear canal, and his head was covered in deep scratches.

BBC: Farmer Thomas Skyrme convicted of dog neglect

Another of Carman's victims, David Mellor , was described as having "behaved like an ostrich and put his head in the sand, thereby exposing his thinking parts".

BBC: George Carman graphic

But when you use some of your famous devastating one-liners about people - for example, of David Mellor, "a man who buried his head in the sand like an ostrich thereby exposing his thinking parts" - was that something that personally felt, was it something that you buffed up beforehand?

BBC: News Online