The one thing that I think helps me handle the stress is if I feel like, at the end of the day, I've done the best possible job I can do, even if not everything has worked out exactly the way Iplanned it, then I feel okay.
Jacob was born first then Ethan - they survived the birth and I really believed everything would be ok I couldn't imagine them not being around our whole future had been planned with our boys - football on cold Sunday mornings, holidays in Broadstairs paddling in the rock pools and eating ice cream at Morellies - I hadn't planned for them not being there.
It didn't matter that I had planned that moment for the past four years, it didn't matter that I had done everything in my power to try and control the situation.