That's not a family tree we'd like to be tasked with creating.
D-shaped holes in the bark or new tree shoots emerging at the root zone of your ash trees may be a sign of infestation by the Emerald Ash Borer, an insect native to the Far East that targets ash trees, says Dave Dailey of Birchcrest Tree and Landscape, in Rochester, N.
And we hit the notorious bars in the sky: Vertigo, atop the Banyan Tree (banyantree.com), which has D gibbering with health-and-safety-induced anxiety and requires us to neck two vast martinis each to facilitate the walk down the vertiginous steps clinging to the side of the building.
Ms. SYLVESTER: The fact that they'd hang on to something like that, that's a tree, that's just covered in people's spit.
The Beechwood Inn was built in 1853, while its sprawling beech tree was planted seven years later by a sea captain who'd brought it from England.
Ms. SYLVESTER: I really wasn't a fan of the gum tree because it was kind of a nuisance everyday, there'd be crowds of people in front of it taking photos, sticking their gum on there, and sanitary-wise, it really was not fun to look at everyday as I'm peering outside this door.
We'd just talked to the guy from Ishkabibbles, and he actually scraped the gum from the tree once.
He'd won the book in an Arbor Day poster contest for schoolkids that had coincided with a citywide tree-planting program administered by the Department of Parks and Public Property.
Those killed included two cousins in New Jersey, ages 2 and 7, who'd huddled with their families in a tent in Parvin State Park when strong winds felled a pine tree, crushing them.
Or, most likely of all, he could ask Massimo D'Alema, the leader of the Democrats of the Left, the main branch of the ruling Olive Tree coalition to try to form a government himself.
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