I'm 64 years old now, but I always feel young when I'm cracking jokes.
I'm only 26 years old but I've been brought up around your music since I was a little kid.
"I'm a litle bit old-fashioned, but I think there are plenty of candidates who are Scottish who can do the job, " said Jordan.
Not that I do either, but I always imagine in my mind, I'm going to live to get old.
The protagonist could be a guy in his prime with cancer or AIDS, but I'm reminded of my 90-year-old dad begging to be taken home a week before he passed.
"I would do it more often, but I'm a bit lazy, " says the 56-old Roy.
But I'm actually talking about his predecessor David Whalley, Liberal Democrat leader of the old Cornwall County Council, who found himself in a similar predicament in 2008.
"I'm a designer but not a Chinese designer, " says 28-year-old celebrity designer Xander Zhou.
"I have all kinds of credits all over God's green earth, but I'm using this to finish it all off, " said the 41-year-old computer consultant, who has an associate degree in information technology but never finished his bachelor's in psychology.
"I was the woman with the strength of seven men, but now I'm afraid if I stumble, I'll fall, " says 49-year-old Akhtar Bibi, invoking a local proverb.
"I didn't enjoy it for a while but now I'm definitely playing with a smile on my face again, " said the 27-year-old who was an amazing 61 over par for 11 rounds up to and including the Open championship at St Andrews.
But I'm 54 going on 55 and I tell myself 'don't be stupid, you're too old'.
I'm sure the 'old school' purists would say "jolly good thing too", but imagine taking your Ford Fiesta for a service to be told it needed four new horse shoes all round.
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